I had this blog post totally written, and I deleted it. I wanted to take this topic in a completely different direction than I had originally planned. Since my Weigh-In last Saturday, my mind has been racing with thoughts about many different things, and coming to so many different conclusions. Again, for the third time this week, this will be a sharing post, about my journey. It may be something that you can relate to, and if so, I hope this helps you!
First, on Saturday, I missed my 30 pound, and "half-way to goal" milestone by a mere .2 pounds. I was discouraged, disappointed, and defeated, to say the least. I sat in the parking lot and cried, and I couldn't stop the tears for a long time. It was at this time, that I realized that I am super-hard on myself. It was brought to my attention that I don't talk to myself the way that I talk to others. I encourage everyone else. I support everyone else, but I beat myself up! I realized that I am only human. I have plenty of room for improvement, when it comes to positive self-talk.
Secondly, yesterday, I recognized that I was really beginning to feel deprived. I'm sure many of you saw the post I made on Connect and the Whys Wingmen page that turned out to be "The Great Cupcake Debate." There were so many comments - things I should know, and things that I should have been telling myself. I had a lot to think about. Those thoughts led me into the blog I posted today about feeling guilty.
I have always felt guilty if I did anything "bad." I labeled foods that I loved as "bad,", and refused to let myself have them. This was a conscious choice, as I was scared that if I let myself have a trigger food, it could be detrimental to my journey. I also realized that I would keep going, and not totally derail, because I let guilt control all of my choices, especially when they pertained to food! Although guilt is a negative emotion, it has helped me succeed in my weight loss. I just have to learn to let the guilt go, and find other motivation to keep me successful.
Today's revelation is that I am just feeling burnt out. I am missing foods on my "bad food" list. I am tired of forcing myself to wake up walk on the treadmill for an hour, at 5:00 a.m. I'm tired of walking on that treadmill at least 5 times per week. I am tired of always trying to hit the 10,000 step goal every day. Basically, I'm just tired, in general. You see, I set rules (which I force myself to follow), and I set goals - some that are totally unrealistic. I get it in my mind that "I MUST MEET ALL OF MY GOALS, EVERY DAY!" Sometimes I just do not want to, and other days, I just can't. That, in itself, is an impossible goal. Maybe not totally impossible, but it would make me very resentful if I forced myself to do it all, and made myself absolutely HATE every bit of it.
I have come to the conclusion that it is time for me to push the perverbial "Reset Button" in my journey. First, I have to stop labeling foods as "bad" or "good." I have to figure out how to work these foods into my life, and still maintain control. I have to find different exercises, which I have been trying to do. I have taken casual strolls around the neighborhood. I have ridden my bike for the first time in years. I have to consider working with my hand weights, and squats, as exercise. I have to be okay with not hitting 10,000 steps per day. I have to be okay with not closing all three rings on my Apple Watch every single day. I can walk up and down the stairs at work. I can walk up and down the hall at work. I can walk around the parking lot at lunch time. I have to be okay with just doing something every day to move, to improve myself, and make myself feel better. I have to learn that some days, doing my best, may not be doing much, if anything at all. I have to learn to be okay with all of these things, and not feel guilty, and beat myself up.
So, today, I have pushed the "Reset Button." I will retain my focus, which I never lost. I will get past the feelings of deprivation, guilt, and being burnt out. I will continue to succeed on this journey. It's all about perspective. The fact that I have figured out that it was time to change my perspective, is what it took to push my "Reset Button."
If you are experiencing any of these feelings, or anything else that can derail you, or defeat you in this journey, pause and think about it. Pushing your own "Reset Button" can be the difference in failing or succeeding.
I hope my experiences, thoughts, and feelings, serve as food for thought for others, and help keep them in the right frame of mind for their own journeys!
First, on Saturday, I missed my 30 pound, and "half-way to goal" milestone by a mere .2 pounds. I was discouraged, disappointed, and defeated, to say the least. I sat in the parking lot and cried, and I couldn't stop the tears for a long time. It was at this time, that I realized that I am super-hard on myself. It was brought to my attention that I don't talk to myself the way that I talk to others. I encourage everyone else. I support everyone else, but I beat myself up! I realized that I am only human. I have plenty of room for improvement, when it comes to positive self-talk.
Secondly, yesterday, I recognized that I was really beginning to feel deprived. I'm sure many of you saw the post I made on Connect and the Whys Wingmen page that turned out to be "The Great Cupcake Debate." There were so many comments - things I should know, and things that I should have been telling myself. I had a lot to think about. Those thoughts led me into the blog I posted today about feeling guilty.
I have always felt guilty if I did anything "bad." I labeled foods that I loved as "bad,", and refused to let myself have them. This was a conscious choice, as I was scared that if I let myself have a trigger food, it could be detrimental to my journey. I also realized that I would keep going, and not totally derail, because I let guilt control all of my choices, especially when they pertained to food! Although guilt is a negative emotion, it has helped me succeed in my weight loss. I just have to learn to let the guilt go, and find other motivation to keep me successful.
Today's revelation is that I am just feeling burnt out. I am missing foods on my "bad food" list. I am tired of forcing myself to wake up walk on the treadmill for an hour, at 5:00 a.m. I'm tired of walking on that treadmill at least 5 times per week. I am tired of always trying to hit the 10,000 step goal every day. Basically, I'm just tired, in general. You see, I set rules (which I force myself to follow), and I set goals - some that are totally unrealistic. I get it in my mind that "I MUST MEET ALL OF MY GOALS, EVERY DAY!" Sometimes I just do not want to, and other days, I just can't. That, in itself, is an impossible goal. Maybe not totally impossible, but it would make me very resentful if I forced myself to do it all, and made myself absolutely HATE every bit of it.
I have come to the conclusion that it is time for me to push the perverbial "Reset Button" in my journey. First, I have to stop labeling foods as "bad" or "good." I have to figure out how to work these foods into my life, and still maintain control. I have to find different exercises, which I have been trying to do. I have taken casual strolls around the neighborhood. I have ridden my bike for the first time in years. I have to consider working with my hand weights, and squats, as exercise. I have to be okay with not hitting 10,000 steps per day. I have to be okay with not closing all three rings on my Apple Watch every single day. I can walk up and down the stairs at work. I can walk up and down the hall at work. I can walk around the parking lot at lunch time. I have to be okay with just doing something every day to move, to improve myself, and make myself feel better. I have to learn that some days, doing my best, may not be doing much, if anything at all. I have to learn to be okay with all of these things, and not feel guilty, and beat myself up.
So, today, I have pushed the "Reset Button." I will retain my focus, which I never lost. I will get past the feelings of deprivation, guilt, and being burnt out. I will continue to succeed on this journey. It's all about perspective. The fact that I have figured out that it was time to change my perspective, is what it took to push my "Reset Button."
If you are experiencing any of these feelings, or anything else that can derail you, or defeat you in this journey, pause and think about it. Pushing your own "Reset Button" can be the difference in failing or succeeding.
I hope my experiences, thoughts, and feelings, serve as food for thought for others, and help keep them in the right frame of mind for their own journeys!
Always
remember – YOU ARE AWESOME! Go out and
make it a great day!
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