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THE AMAZING CHANGES IN ME

  Who is this girl that I see in the mirror?   She's definitely not the same person I saw 9 months ago!  Some days it's hard to recognize myself.  Lately I have noticed so many changes in myself.  Other people are also noticing, and commenting on these changes.   Of course, there is the physical change.  I've lost right at 50 pounds.  I see my body shrinking.  Some of my shoes are too big.  My rings are too big.  I don't have chipmunk cheeks any more.  My face has thinned out.  I keep having to buy smaller clothes.  All of these changes are very good things.   Then, there are the health aspects.  I have been taken off of my blood pressure medicine.  I feel good - better than I have in as long as I can remember.  I would venture a guess that this is the healthiest that I have been in many years.   But, those changes are not what this blog post is about.  It's about the way I look at things, the way I see things, and the way I think about things.
Recent posts

Not Enough Hours In The Day

 The topic of our meeting last week was "Time."  What would you do if you had more time in the day?  I can think of many things.  I know that I don't utilize all of my time well.  I never have.  I'm not disciplined when it comes to time management.  I find it so hard to put my "free-time" on a schedule.   First, I need to say that being a responsible adult, having a job, and living to pay bills just really screws up the time factor, and the fun factor of life!  I like my job, but a lot of time is spent there, and even more when you include the time spent driving to and from work.  Today, as I sit here at work, I think about the things I need to be doing, and the things I want to be doing.  As you probably have guessed, I'm not thinking about work.  You can see that I am thinking about, and writing this blog.  It's important to me, and I haven't done it in a while.  It has slipped through the cracks, as I have many other things going o

Too Many Thoughts At Once

I woke up this morning, tired.  That's never a good thing for my brain.  All I wanted was to go back to sleep, but I set the goal to walk on the treadmill for an hour, every morning this week, before work - because I know I won't do it after work.  The past few weeks, I haven't kept the exercise goal at all, so this week, I am going to do it, no matter what.    So, I start walking, and I'm ok with that, until my boyfriend asked me if I want a turkey sandwich or a frozen dinner, for lunch.  That's all it took to get my brain going.  The frustration, disappointment, and anger had started.   So, I'm going to address these feelings, one by one.   FRUSTRATION!   The thought of another turkey sandwich made me want to gag, right there on the spot.  I'm soooo sick of turkey.  Actually, I'm sick of everything that I eat!  People don't seem to understand "picky," to the extent that I am picky.  Before Weight Watchers, I had a limited

What's Wrong With Me?

Well, I'm thinking something is wrong with me.  I feel like my fire is burning out.  I feel less than enthusiastic about this journey, and how close I am to reaching my goal.  I'm really "blah."  I'm off of my game.   I think that this feeling started after I applied to be a Weight Watcher's Leader.  I was fired up.  I thought I could help people, and that I could make a difference.  This is something I believe in.  I believed that this is something I would be good at.  I had my friends, people from my meeting, people from Connect, and from a couple of Weight Watchers pages on Facebook, supporting me - telling me that I would be great at this.  Then, a few weeks later I get this cold, computer generated email that tells me that there is no position for me, and that this is a very competitive field.  It then told me that they wished me good luck in my job search.  It didn't even say that they would keep my application on file.   My feelings were

Summer Slump

I'm not sure what it is about this summer, but it seems like so many people, including myself, are in a slump.  I read so many posts that back this up.  Some people are hungry all of the time, and are having a difficult time staying within their points.  Some are going way overboard, and going into negative points again, and again - spiraling out of control. Some are gaining weight, instead of losing.  Some have quit tracking.  Some have lost the desire to exercise.  Some have posted that they feel like giving up, and they just want to quit. I understand the posts.  I've been in this funk, and am trying to work myself out of it.  I feel hungry all of the time, and I am missing desserts, and high point foods that I usually don't work into my diet.  I got lazy, and didn't feel like exercising.   I'm working hard with my points, but some days it is a struggle.  I've gone to bed feeling hungry, because I knew I would let myself go over my points if I allowed

Self-Care Is Important

The past few weeks I had really been feeling down, and mostly, down about myself.  I realized that something needed to be done.  I couldn't, and shouldn't go on feeling this way.  I looked in the mirror, and although I wasn't seeing "fat," I was seeing "ugly," and that, to me, was worse. Change.  I needed change.  For some reason, I have always embraced change.  I feel that change is good for the soul. First step, is that I got my hair cut, and I got it cut short.  It hasn't been short in a few years.  It's not totally drastic, because my hair wasn't that long, in the first place, but it is a very noticeable difference.  Secondly, I went and ordered a couple of new pair of glasses.  I'm used to having more than one pair, and being able to choose what pair "fit my mood" every day before heading out.  Last time I got new frames, I could only pay for one pair.  Soon, I will have 3 pair to choose from to fit my mood.  I lov

Enthusiasm And Lack Thereof

When I began this journey, I was so enthusiastic and so motivated.  The past couple of months, that slowly started going away, and, I don't know why.  I was doing good with the food, but when it came to exercising, all of my enthusiasm was gone.  I just did not realize how far gone that it was.   I started making a weight loss journal in January, when I started the program.  I'm OCD, so I made charts for a few things.  I have a calendar where I keep up with blue dots, a chart for days that I exercise, and another chart for the amount of steps that I take per day. The step chart has different colors for different ranges of steps per day.  I had not worked on these charts in a few months.  Last night, I caught up on these charts, and it suddenly became very real.  The blue dots were good - could be better, but I'm losing at a good rate, so that didn't make me feel bad.  The exercise chart, and the step chart gave me a very rude awakening.  I consider exercise as