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What's Wrong With Me?


Well, I'm thinking something is wrong with me.  I feel like my fire is burning out.  I feel less than enthusiastic about this journey, and how close I am to reaching my goal.  I'm really "blah."  I'm off of my game.
 
I think that this feeling started after I applied to be a Weight Watcher's Leader.  I was fired up.  I thought I could help people, and that I could make a difference.  This is something I believe in.  I believed that this is something I would be good at.  I had my friends, people from my meeting, people from Connect, and from a couple of Weight Watchers pages on Facebook, supporting me - telling me that I would be great at this.  Then, a few weeks later I get this cold, computer generated email that tells me that there is no position for me, and that this is a very competitive field.  It then told me that they wished me good luck in my job search.  It didn't even say that they would keep my application on file.
 
My feelings were hurt.  I admit that.   I was so disappointed.  It knocked the wind out of my sails.  I was shot down, without even speaking to a human being. I wasn't even given a chance to prove that I would be good at this.  It felt like a slap in the face, and I still feel the sting.
 
As the summer went on, I guess I also became complacent.  I continued to follow the program.  I continued to lose weight, however, not as quickly as I was losing, prior to the summer.  I did have a couple of weeks of birthday celebrations and events, but managed to pretty much stay on track.  I just got lazy.  I didn't exercise much.  I'm still not exercising much.  It takes everything I've got to push myself to get on that treadmill and walk - which honestly, is something that I usually enjoy doing.  Once I get started, I'm good with it.  I just have to step on it, and start.
 
I'm less than 4 pounds from reaching my Weight Watchers' goal, and less than 20 pounds from my personal goal.  I've lost a little over 40 pounds.  I should be more excited.  I should be more than fired up.  I should be super-diligent with my eating.  I should be fired up to exercise every day!  I'm so close!!!!!  I am very proud of myself, because I never thought I could accomplish this when I first joined Weight Watchers.  I'm still not where I want to be, so I don't understand my own lack of enthusiasm.

I haven't lost my way.  I'm going to continue to follow the program, and I will continue to lose weight, and reach goal.  I'm trying to really force myself to exercise - trying to make myself want to exercise again.  I know that I will feel better if I do.  I'm just trying to find a way to light this fire inside of me again, and run to the goal line - not crawl there.
 
I'm not writing this, trying to elicit a pity-party.  I'm not having my own pity-party.  I'm just sharing what is going on with me.  Maybe someone else feels the same way.  Writing this is therapeutic.  As I write, I think.  Hopefully, the answers will come to me!
 

Always remember – YOU ARE AMAZING!  Go out and make it a great day!

**If you like this post, please feel free to share it, or to share the link to the blog!  It is with your help that I may reach, and inspire others!  I welcome comments!  I welcome suggestions!  If you wish to contact me privately, email me at lisaspointofview@gmail.com .
Thank you for your support !


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