Who is this girl that I see in the mirror? She's definitely not the same person I saw 9 months ago! Some days it's hard to recognize myself. Lately I have noticed so many changes in myself. Other people are also noticing, and commenting on these changes.
Of course, there is the physical change. I've lost right at 50 pounds. I see my body shrinking. Some of my shoes are too big. My rings are too big. I don't have chipmunk cheeks any more. My face has thinned out. I keep having to buy smaller clothes. All of these changes are very good things.
Then, there are the health aspects. I have been taken off of my blood pressure medicine. I feel good - better than I have in as long as I can remember. I would venture a guess that this is the healthiest that I have been in many years.
But, those changes are not what this blog post is about. It's about the way I look at things, the way I see things, and the way I think about things. It's about attitude. It's about my outlook. Before I started this journey, I was very unhappy with myself, and with my job, and that unhappiness showed. It was hard to be positive. Some days it was just hard to even fake a smile. I was Debby Downer - I recognize that now.
When I first signed up for WW, I really didn't think I could, or would lose weight. I saw a commercial for WW, and I just thought I'll try that. I never expected it to work. I never expected to succeed. I didn't believe in myself. After I lost the first few pounds, I started believing that I could do it, but I couldn't imagine that I would lose all of the weight that I have. I never wanted to exercise, so I never thought I would even try to get in shape. After a while, I did want to start walking and bought a treadmill. That was major for me. Still, I wasn't so sure I believed in myself.
Then, not too long ago, a switch flipped! I started believing in myself. I wanted to do things that I have not done in the past. I wanted to run. One day I just decided that I'm going to learn to run. Now, I'm training on a 5K program. I have NEVER been able to run. I have tried a few times, but I have always quit when it started to get hard - and that was always by week 3 of a couch to 5K program. I'd quit, and I would have no desire to try again.
It has always been on my bucket list to be able to run a mile (without stopping, and basically without passing out or dying!) For those who don't know my running story, it is this. When I was in high school gym class, I missed the day that the class had to run a mile. (I obviously was lost in space, because I don't remember us running much in class.) Anyway, the day I came back, my teacher told me I had to run a mile (20 laps around the gym) or fail the class. I ran a few laps, and I was suffering. I was out of breath, in pain, ready to quit, and didn't care if I failed. I had two friends that took turns running the laps with me, and they were literally taking my hand and pulling me around the gym. I made the 20 laps. I passed the class, but it was a humiliating experience. Other people in the class were in the bleachers watching me struggle, and pretty much fail. After that, I did not want to run again.
Years later, I would try occasionally, and I would quickly quit, just saying that I was not a runner. That excuse sounded good to me.
So, like I wrote above, I started a 5K running program, and have friends doing this with me. This time, I have told myself that I will not quit. I am going to run that mile, and maybe even more than that. Running is not easy. I struggle, and sometimes it takes everything I have to keep putting one foot in front of the other, but I am not giving up. I'm in the middle of Week 3 of the program (where I usually quit), and I am finding that I am enjoying running. I wake up excited on days that I get to run. (I can't believe it is me saying this!)
For those who know me, I don't like doing things alone, especially going to the gym, and now running. Exercising is much easier for me when I have someone with me, helping me push through. In the past, if there were days that no one could go to the gym or run with me, I just would not have tried. Twice lately, this has happened, and I made myself do this alone - and I pushed through, and I made it! I do have to admit that guilt is a factor in that. Good ole' Catholic guilt. I knew that if I didn't run on the days I should, I would feel guilty, and I would beat myself up. Yes, I do that quite often! I always have. So, I used the guilt in a positive way, and just did it.
So, I'm thinner. I feel better. I'm running. I'm determined. I'm focused, and I have become a much more positive person. No, it's not always easy, but I find myself looking for the good and positive in things - especially the good and positive in myself.
This journey has made me a better version of myself, in every way possible. This has not only been a journey of weight loss, but a journey of personal growth.
People I have met throughout the journey, and in my Facebook group have inspired me. They have made me want to succeed. They have made me want to be better. They have also made me want to help inspire others.
Although I will always think that it sounds conceited to say things like this - I am very proud of myself and the person I am becoming. I never believed that these changes could happen. I never believed in myself. Now, I do believe in myself, and I also believe that I CAN do anything that I set out to do!
I hope that those who read this, will find some inspiration in my story. I hope you will believe in yourself, and believe that you can do anything you want to do! If I can, you can! I believe in you!
Always remember – YOU ARE AMAZING! Go out and make it a great day!
**If you like this post, please feel free to share it, or to share the link to the blog! It is with your help that I may reach, and inspire others! I welcome comments! I welcome suggestions! If you wish to contact me privately, email me at lisaspointofview@gmail.com .
Thank you for your support !
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