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Showing posts from June, 2018

Enthusiasm And Lack Thereof

When I began this journey, I was so enthusiastic and so motivated.  The past couple of months, that slowly started going away, and, I don't know why.  I was doing good with the food, but when it came to exercising, all of my enthusiasm was gone.  I just did not realize how far gone that it was.   I started making a weight loss journal in January, when I started the program.  I'm OCD, so I made charts for a few things.  I have a calendar where I keep up with blue dots, a chart for days that I exercise, and another chart for the amount of steps that I take per day. The step chart has different colors for different ranges of steps per day.  I had not worked on these charts in a few months.  Last night, I caught up on these charts, and it suddenly became very real.  The blue dots were good - could be better, but I'm losing at a good rate, so that didn't make me feel bad.  The exercise chart, and the step chart gave me a very rude awakening.  I consider exercise as

Friends And Finding Your Tribe

We all have stories of friendships.  Most of us have made friends, and lost friends along the way, for many different reasons. I'm still friends with my first friend, that I made at the age of three.  She lives in a different state, and we don't talk as much, but I know I can count on her, if I need to.  I am still friends with people that I went to first grade with, and many of us keep in touch, and get together as a group, occasionally. I have lost two friends to death, both in their early twenties.  One was my very best friend in the world, but I had ruined that friendship.  She did something that I didn't approve of.  I was judgmental, and I told her that I couldn't stand by her side on this decision.  I did send her a letter apologizing, and saying that I valued, and missed our friendship.  I never heard from her.  Shortly after that, I heard she had a stroke and was on life support.  To this day, close to thirty years later, I still have not been able to

Running On Empty

 Today, I am running on empty.  I just don't fee like "me."  I am in a total funk.  That's the only way that I can describe how I am feeling.  Maybe you can relate.  Maybe you can't, but that's where I am.   I know that I ran myself ragged over vacation.  We never stopped "going."  Vacation was fantastic.  It was great to step away from everyday life for a few days, and just enjoy ourselves.  I came back with my brain feeling renewed!  The break was good for me.  I have just been out of it, physically, since we got back.  This has been going on for almost a week now.  Excuse the terminology, but my ass is dragging!   I know that I'm tired.  I don't feel like I will ever catch up with rest.  My motivation for pretty much everything is gone, for the time being.  I really don't feel like writing this blog, but I feel that these feelings, may be worth capturing.  As far as exercise goes, I just can't seem to force myself

Decisions! Decisions!

 Every day, all of us have to make decisions - what to wear, where to go, what to do, what to eat, and probably many more decisions.  More often than not, I struggle with decisions.  Some days I go through 2-3 outfits before I make a decision.  I'm often involved in the conversation of "Where do you want to go?" "I don't know, where do you want to go?" I am an "over-thinker," and sometimes, I think that makes it even more difficult to make the decision.  There are times that I wish someone else would just make decisions for me! I just got back from vacation, and I had a very difficult time making decisions - food decisions.  A few years ago, my boyfriend and I went on vacation, and we were both on diets.  We went to this famous restaurant, and didn't want to cheat, so we didn't eat anything that we "shouldn't" eat.  That was over four years ago, and we still talk about how we will never do that again.  It bothere

What Do You Consider Success?

What do you consider success?  Do you think that success is reaching your main goal? I look at success differently.  I will consider goal, when I hit it, a huge success, but I consider reaching many smaller goals, successes, also.  I consider every ounce that I lose, a success.  Every time that I exercise, is a success.  Every time that I go down a size in clothes, is a success.  Every day that I stay within the program, is a success.  Every time that I do something that I was unable to do before, is a success. If we focus only on the end goal, and don't appreciate and celebrate our smaller successes, success seems so far in the distance.  Success is right in front of us.  Most of us have many successes along the way.  We should appreciate every single one of them.  We should celebrate every single one of them.  We should also help others celebrate their successes!  Each and every success that we have, is an important step in this journey!  Each step gets us closer to

Dance In The Rain

"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...It's about learning to dance in the rain."   We only have one life, and we have to live it to the fullest.  Life is too short to not be happy.  Life is to short to not enjoy it.   Life is full of ups and downs.  We all have difficult times.  We all struggle.  Enjoying this life fully, and being happy, comes down to one thing - a positive attitude.  That's the bottom line.  When we experience the storms in our lives, we need to try to make the best out of a bad situation.  Yes, the storms will pass.  Will waiting for the storms to pass, impact your happiness?  The answer is "Yes."   I know that there are horribly difficult times in life, and most times, this may be easier said, than done.  Sometimes you have to endure the storms, and wait for them to pass.  I get that.  Sadness, heartache, pain - they don't just disappear overnight.  On those times that you can make the best of a bad

On Vacation

By the time you are reading this, it will be the first day of my vacation.   I'm hoping to leave work a little bit early, and get on the road.  I am hoping to pretty much escape reality for a while. You see, I desperately need a mental break!  I haven't been out of town in over two years, due to money, and my job constraints at my old place of employment.  This is going to be my time to recharge my batteries.   I will not have a set schedule that I have to stick to.  I don't have any plans that are set in stone.  I don't have to set an alarm to wake up at a certain time.  I will be away from stress for a few days!  Basically, all I want to do is relax! I am needing to get away from the feeling of "having to do something,", so I will be taking a break from the blog until the middle of next week, when I am back at home. The weather report says that I will have constant rain for most of the trip.  At first, this bothered me, but I am so looking forward